kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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