the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
