Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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