YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
