How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
