Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Randomize
