I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
