just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Randomize
