Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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