Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
