Your dad touched me again.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
