Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
