dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
