When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
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