i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I need a burrito and a hug.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
