Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
My dad just said "fuck circus"
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
