He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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