I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
