He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
