I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
