I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
