Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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