No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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