Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
