When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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