dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
My ATM looks so different sober.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Randomize
