yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
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