Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
