I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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