I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
