Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
