Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
