I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize
