Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
