Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
