In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
