just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize
