i dedicated my morning wood to you.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
