last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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