I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
