I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
