You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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