Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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