She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
