went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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