seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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