I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
