I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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