Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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