Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
