for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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